mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
