no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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