she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
