If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
