Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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