I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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