So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
