I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How's work?
Spinning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
