It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
