All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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