So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
