I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I deserve this hangover.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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