i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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