im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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