Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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