you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
