First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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