She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
