yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
