4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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