It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
