So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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