Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
