i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
