just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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