Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
