bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
