I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
