I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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