I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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