Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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