I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There r osticjed everywhere
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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