We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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