It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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