where am i from again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
