Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
