What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Michael Bay diarrhea
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
