I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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