you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
