the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
