Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
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Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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