dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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