Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize