Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
