He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
