I need help removing her.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
