spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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