No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.