I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
