I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
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Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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