ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
