I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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