so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
