I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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