I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my being single is dangerous.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
