The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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