for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
