I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i out mim tonsoeep
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