after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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