dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
