If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
