My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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