I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
