I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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