you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
